Resting Through The Sunday Flare-up
Advice on how to manage flare ups even when it is suppose to be a day to relax.
Sundays are often seen as a day for rest.
They are the long-awaited opportunity at the end of the week to disconnect, take a break, and perfect the art of relaxation, throwing in some self-care.
But for a lot of us, primarily known as those who have the burden of living with chronic illness and pain, this picture-perfect idea of rest can feel understandably and frustratingly out of reach.
Pain flares up at the most inconvenient times, often when we've carefully carved out time for ourselves to do something relaxing, fun, or even something to alleviate our symptoms. Worse yet, life's stressors and situations can derail—medical appointments or procedures we've waited months for have to be canceled, rescheduled, or delayed due to things even outside of our unavoidable illness.
These are life's unpredictable, uncertain journeys that come along with everyday life and life's challenges, adding another layer of tension, unease, and active danger.
When pain increases, the body goes into its default increased tension mode: shoulders tense, jaws clench, and muscles brace for impact.
There's a feeling in the air of unwilling acceptance, a begrudging realization that this is how it is today and will be in spite of so many efforts to avoid it. And then comes the frustration—why is the pain here now when I only want to rest? Why can't I relax and feel some relief?
This scenario is all too familiar for many dealing with chronic illness and pain.
Yet, even in these moments of tension and frustration, there are ways we can gently shift the experience of rest, making it more accessible, even when the pain persists.
1. Calming the Nervous System:
When pain triggers stress, our body goes into protective mode, which can make the pain feel even worse. Practicing simple grounding techniques or focusing on Breathwork that sends signals of safety to the brain helps reduce tension. Try progressive muscle relaxation, and if you have yet to hear of it, send me a message, and I will explain where you systematically tense and then release different muscle groups or heart-focused breathing to soften the physical response to stress.
2. Emotional Management:
It's fancy to say that emotions will be there around and from the pain. It's natural to feel overwhelmed or disappointed when pain interrupts your plans. Instead of resisting these emotions, what if you made space for them? You don't have to fix the problem, so the feelings disappear. You can observe and accept the emotions so they don't get stuck in the body and further reinforce the pain. You can practice observing your feelings without judgment, allowing them to come and go without feeling frustrated or guilty. Using Breathwork while expressing emotion can soften and integrate the emotion. These techniques can be learned, creating new neural paths and becoming even more helpful through practicing them.
3. Working with the Body's Stress Response:
How does the body respond when pain flares? Do your shoulders tighten, or does your jaw clench? Rather than fighting these reactions, acknowledge them. Bring awareness to your body's cues and consciously practice releasing tension through mindful movement, gentle self-massage, or having a cup of tea go-tos that you know usually give a sense of ease.
4. Reframing Rest:
For those with chronic pain, rest often feels complicated. You may feel guilty for needing it or frustrated when rest doesn't bring relief. But rest is not about immediately feeling better—it's about creating space to allow healing, even when pain lingers. Remember that resting is an act of self-compassion, not a sign of weakness.
5. Small Wins Matter:
On days when pain takes over, celebrate small victories. It could be allowing yourself to take a slower pace or finding a comfortable position that provides a momentary reprieve. Recognize these moments as achievements, and remind yourself that you're doing your best, even when the pain is present.
6. Visualizing Relief:
Even if the pain doesn't disappear completely, you can imagine moments of relief. Try a visualization exercise: picture yourself in a peaceful place where you feel safe and comfortable. Visualize the tension in your body softening, even briefly, and allow your mind to rest there.
Chronic illness and pain present emotional and physical challenges while offering ways to gently shift clients' experiences of rest. Reframing their relationship with rest and pain can be a transformative perspective by doing techniques that no longer fuel the pain and prolong the flare.