Self-Compassion Tools in Chronic Pain and Illness
In this newsletter we will go over Dr. Neff's work the components of self compassion and a self compassion exercise
What does self-compassion feel like?
How to start your ability to give yourself self-compassion
Components of Self-Compassion
Self-Kindness vs. Self-Criticism
Many people who face chronic illness and pain may feel negative self-talk or feelings of failure. Practicing self-kindness means treating yourself as you would a friend—offering warmth, patience, and understanding.
Common Humanity vs. Isolation
Pain can feel isolating as if no one else understands. It can feel like no one is experiencing your symptoms, especially when you've been searching for an answer and don't have one from the current health model. Pain is a shared human experience; part of being human helps reduce loneliness and fosters a sense of connection.
Mindfulness vs. Over-Identification
A mindful approach involves observing pain without being overwhelmed by it. It is about looking at the pain with curiosity, trying to understand it, and avoiding fear and judgment. This can help separate you from the pain and not define who you are.
The Benefits of Compassion
Reduces Emotional Suffering
Self-compassion reduces rumination, shame, and self-blame, which are common emotional burdens in chronic pain.
Improves emotional resilience
Individuals are better equipped to manage setbacks and challenges by fostering a kind and understanding inner dialogue.
Supports Neuroplasticity
Positive self-directed thoughts can help rewire the brain's response to pain, calming the fear response center and creating a more integrative healing state.
Promotes Healing Behaviors/Personal Empowerment
Contrary to its myths, self-compassion can be empowering. It may take slightly longer to ramp up, but it results in sustainable changes.
A Self-Compassion Exercise
Offer a taste of self-compassion and the ability to offer it to yourself.
There are so many ways to go deeper into this.
This is based on the work of Dr. Kristen Neff. She pioneered self-compassion, and Chris Germer also works at the Center for Self-Compassion.
So first, I want to start by describing what self-compassion feels like in the body and what emotions and sensations accompany it—the experience of it versus thinking about it.
Research tells us that those compassionate for others are sometimes least compassionate for themselves.
- close your eyes and lower your gaze to help you go inward.
Imagine someone, a child, spouse, family member, friend, pet, or nature - anything you care deeply for and have a deep regard for.
Imagine you are caring for that person or the pet.
What feelings or physical sensations arise?
Maybe it's a sensation of warmth in your chest,
or kindness, even if you might be taking on their heartaches or having sympathy pains; imagine the compassion and warmth you feel or whatever it may be.
Now, let us shift focus and place it on ourselves.
You may want to place your hand on your heart as a gesture to yourself, showing yourself concern and giving your heart space attention. Take a breath of attention to this space.
Think of a moment you felt in need of care or kindness. Can you feel the same warmth, softness, and patience you showed your loved one?
As you breathe, let these sensations grow. With each breath, let the warmth spread throughout your body.
Each exhale is a release of any need to have self-criticism or harshness towards yourself. You are worthy of this kindness to be directed towards you.
Imagine speaking to yourself as you would to them—softly, kindly, lovingly.
What words would you use? How would your tone change?
How does it feel to direct this kindness towards yourself? It might initially feel unusual or even difficult, but that's okay.
Self-compassion is a skill that grows stronger with practice. We learn it by experiencing the sensations of kindness and compassion in whatever way feels soothing to us.
There are so many resources available to go deeper.
Other exercise
Self-Compassion Break
Steps:
Acknowledge: "This is a moment of suffering."
Connect: "Suffering is part of being human."
Comfort: "May I be kind to myself in this moment."
Use this during pain flares or emotionally challenging times.
Body Awareness and Loving-Kindness Meditation
Reframing Pain with Kindness, Gratitude for the Body,
Self-Hug
For more resources you can visit @Ritamindfulmentor on Instagram and www.DrRitaWellness.com
Pain is indeed a shared human experience.